The people whinging about not getting much DNA from an alliance are probably those asking for the most needed (and least available) commons, or high value rares, so don’t get very much donated to them. If people were whinging in my alliance and it was getting annoying I would simply ask them to stop or stop giving to them. Giving is voluntary and cannot be imposed. My philosophy is to ‘Pay it Forward’ and encourage your members to do likewise, no demands, just fun. Also it’s not just about the DNA, you can make quite a lot of gold coin. So how/why/if someone donates it’s really up to them.
However if you’re not satisfied with the alliance you’re in, go create one and you can run it anyway you wish, but my advice is not to be overbearing or demanding. It’s not a business, it’s a game.